The Road Less Traveled

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I have always found this poem to be of great inspiration. Every now and again I can't help but go back and reread it and wonder have I taken that less traveled road? Or have I just followed in line with everyone else? I would like to think I'm not a conformist but I can't help but look back over the last ten years and wonder why did I make the choices I made. I can say that I've experienced a lot in my 30 years and while not every choice was the best one I have little regret. I would like to think that I've learned lessons and going forward I will continue to choose the path that's best suited for myself and my "boys" and not make decisions just because I feel the pressure to do what others do/feel/think/believe to be the best decision. I will choose my own path and take that less traveled road and become the person that I have always envisioned myself becoming. 

I started working out again as I said I would in my last post to get myself fit and healthy. My ab muscles will attest to my progress though the results aren't overwhelmingly evident, I discovered today that my need for instant gratification will have to be overridden by my desire to be healthy. <--- notice I say healthy instead of skinny :-) That's a word I truly detest for the stigma it carries along with it, and there is a massive difference in being thin/skinny and being healthy. Rant over. So while I'm a person who generally thrives off instant gratification I know that doesn't work with for this journey. So I'm changing my mindset and learning to read and respond to my bodies actual wants and needs. I'm finally doing what I need to to change my path and though I've strayed I am seeing the beginnings of a new path and one that I'm sure to travel down for a long time no matter what twists, turns and obstacles it has for me once I'm on it I know I'll be on my way taking the my own less traveled road. 

Cheers xoxo

Lofty Goals

After all this time of not posting I am making a personal vow to actually start doing this once a week if not more! (This is where my title comes into play). So with my birthday day fast approaching and the wedding now less than a year away, I've decided I'm going to play the part of a grown up for a while and set some goals for myself with the promise of actually accomplishing them. I've definitely done this before, I set goals for myself and then after about two weeks kind of fall off the wagon. I am also a notoriously stubborn person so I'm going to let that person come out to play and stick to my guns. Okay ready here are the goals I intend on accomplishing: 

     Lose at least 15 pounds (or more but starting small) by August. I think that is extremely reasonable to lose that over the course of 8 weeks. I am hoping that I will continue to lose if needed and tone up over the course of the remaining 9 months  until the wedding.

     Go back to school and finally decide what I want to be when I grow up! My heart lies with being a psychologist at the VA hospital for our returning vets. PTSD is such a huge and very silent and unspoken disease among those currently serving and veterans. It is something I feel exceptionally passionate about and really want to pursue that dream. I am going to over the course of the next month look into what I need to do to make this happen. 

     So right now those are my 3 lofty long term goals for myself. I really plan to stick to this for myself and I'm quite sure that I will be writing blogs bitching and complaining about the wedding, weight loss, and going back to school. In the end I know I will be happy and feel accomplished and be much more proud of myself then I do right now. 

Let's keep fingers crossed and prayers said that I can and will have the stubbornness to pull this off. Knowing I want to look amazing when I walk down the isle and that I want Jim to look at me and think I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen should help!! 

Cheers!!! xoxo

Welcomed Back with Bells, Wedding Bells . . .

So I know it's been almost two full months since my last blog and for those of you who read this I'm sorry. My life has been so chaotic and so very much has happened and while I should have been writing about it while it was happening it drained me emotionally and I didn't have the energy!! How ever today seems like a most appropriate day to do it. Today is the first day of summer, the last official day of school for my boys and also the summer solstice. Amid all of that today is exactly one year from my wedding date!!! This time next year I will be getting my dress on with the help of 6 of the most amazing wonderful best friends a girl could ask for! (Time for a tribute)

Shelby ~ you and I have been friends since before our memories could create themselves. You have always been a sister to me as well as a best friend. I admire you for your strength and courage and kind heart. We have more memories than we can handle from serious to silly. We now have the joy of passing that type of friendship on to our children who will know what it's like to have friends that are so close they are almost family. You have helped me be strong when I wasn't sure I could be and you helped me find patience when I swore I had none left. You have always been a wonderful support system for me and I know you will be in years to come. I am proud to have you stand next me as my Maid of Honor. <3 

Alie ~ we go back just as far courtesy of our dads 47 year friendship. You have always been my "little" sister and lord knows growing up I certainly treated you like one. The growing up we did together and the memories we share of countless hours swimming in Long Lake or your pool or New Years Eves with our parents make me proud to have you stand with me on my special day. 

Michelle ~ my bell :-) while I would never wish harm upon anyone I am happy that your mother had that minor accident and I'm also thankful that my dad was the officer to take the call. Though I'm sure we would have found our way to being friends that gentle nudge certainly helped it blossom much sooner. You and I through in and outs and ups and down are still the best of friends and there is something to be said for that. I am so glad to be sticking your butt in a dress and having you beside me! 

Chelsea ~ Friends since high school and though not the closest then, we made up for it after. You helped me through so many ups and downs over the past 8 years and I will always be indebted to you for all that you did for me. You and I have stories that only the walls of the B2 know and will always keep. Thank you for standing along side me to celebrate something so long awaited. 

Katie ~ Thank goodness our cousins married or I may not have had my life overrun by doll faces! You and I had one extremely memorable spring/summer full of laughs and giggles and wine and I'm forever thankful for you coming into my life and helping me to find the patience to be where I am right now. Thank you for standing beside me on my special day doll! Now go eat a whopper with cheese! 

Molly ~ my Boo, though you are far away you are with out a doubt one of the best friends I could have asked for in my life. It's strange how we came into one an other's lives but what's even more amazing is the strength of our friendship. You and I spent countless hours talking to one another through some very difficult times and I know that played a part in the strength of our friendship. Thank you for standing beside me and being a part of a day that means so much to me. 

That might be a tad longer than I was anticipating but I'm thankful for these women and they deserve to know and while those a certainly brief history's they will always know all of our memories in their hearts. 

Just a little over a month ago Jim asked me to go for a small hike back to my favorite falls. Saturday morning at 6 am both of us laying more awake than we wanted to be, decided an early morning hike was a great idea to beat out the black flies. So off we went to hike back to the falls. Jim is a quiet person more often then not and at 615 in the morning I'm not a sparkling ray of sunshine but he was beyond quiet, the kind of quiet that I noticed was odd even for him, luckily for him I hate chit chats that early and was in awe of the beautiful morning fog that was starting to lift with the rise of the sun. Off I went to take pictures of the beautiful landscape, still untouched by those who devalue it. Suddenly Jim says, "I need to ask you a question" with and uneasy tone behind him I'm now annoyed that he wants to interrupt my picture taking with talking and say "what?!"  

With no reply, I turn around and he's getting down on one and tearing up as he says "I wanted to ask you, if you would marry me?" 

As I'm sure you've figured out my answer was yes and we're on our way to planning our wedding on June 21, 2014. I have never been more certain or happy about anything in my life. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm on the right path.  

It only took 30 years! ;-) 

Cheers xoxo

30 Day Challenge

This is terrible that the days keep slipping by me so much that I am not blogging nearly as often as I should. Shame on me! 

Three days ago I started a 30 day challenge. I gave up soda cold turkey, which for anyone who knows me knows how very difficult this is. I live on Pepsi max but the sodium and man made sugars that are in it are just not healthy. As a person trying to promote a healthy lifestyle to others, I felt like a hypocrite. So I'm actually on day 3 and a half of no soda, headaches from the lack of caffeine have finally subsided. It was like a drug addict going through withdrawals, I'm grateful I started this on a weekend or I'd have been miserable at work! 

I also incorporated a 30 day planking challenge and squat challenge into this, to accompany my swimming a minimum of 3 days a week. I found the 30 day squat challenge courtesy of Pinterest (I don't know how I ever lived without that site!) and I had talked to Michelle about the planking thing, as she and one of her co workers was doing it. I already was planking a couple of times a week for my back issues so why not do it every day to work my core even more, and hell why not add squats to it too! Hahaha I will say that my planks have improved a lot. Not that they were that difficult before but I am noticing that by doing it every day I'm that much more stable. As for squats, my knee hurts like hell but I'm bound and determined to build up the muscles around my knee if it kills me yet. 

I have done challenges before, for example my 21 day meditation challenge and I loved it and now I can't really go a day with out some form of meditation, even if it's just a few quiet minutes alone it helps me calm my mind and body. I heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, I find it ironic that the meditation challenge was 21 days and has now become an integral part of my life. 

I am really hoping that with the challenge of giving up soda and planking and squatting being 30 days that it should be difficult for me to make this all part of my daily routine. I have forced swimming to be a part of my routine and it's beginning to stick after three weeks.  So here's to hoping that it does only take 21 days to form a new habit and that my habits continue to be healthy and lead me down a bright path full of possibilities! 

Here is the spreadsheet that I'm using to track my plank / squat challenge: 

Feel Free to share this! It's a great solid challenge and I'm glad that I started it and can't wait to see where this path leads! 

Cheers! XOXO 

Inspired

Well I finally did it! I revamped my sun room into my own sitting room/office space and I'm really happy with it right now. It took about 3 configurations and I may try a couple more but at this moment I love the furniture that is occupying the space along with arrangement of said furniture. Now it's not that this space wasn't already a lounge and relax space but it also was housing a television and my boys air hockey table. Back in January I had redone our finished side of the basement, as a surprise for Jim, and turned it into his man cave.  So with the boys having that space I really wanted a space to call my own (besides the kitchen)!! I am still in need of a small bookcase for some of my books but the room really turned out quite cozy and amazing and I'm really quite thrilled that Jim was able to help maneuver furniture several time until we found a set up that works. 

I will be starting classes up again this fall and I am really looking forward to having this space and being able to use it and be comfortable it. I really hope that it also helps my succeed with my future endeavours as well. 

I have really begun to push myself to do well with my Independent Distributor path for Shaklee as I firmly believe that I am capable of doing this as long as I put in the work. 

Well enough blabber from me here are the before and after (3 different set ups for after) pictures:

this is kind of a little bit of all of the different corners and angles in the room before 

Have my new desk now just need to remove the couch  and figure out placement

Placement and configuration one

**Side note I just realized  I never took a picture of configuration two because I couldn't get it to work. I was trying to put the desk under the window to the left and the couch in front of the slider (which by the way we don't use as we have another one on the other side of the blue couch) the couch however did not fit in the elected space so I had to move everything back to the above pictured. Now on to configuration 3

this is the last and final configuration for the night at least  :-)  potentially longer as I'm currently sitting here and pretty happy with the way I'm sitting and the comfort of everything

So for tonight I'm content. I'm also excited about the fact I just was in my basement and discovered I have book shelve that matches my desk and Jim said as long as he can have half a shelf (as he has books on it) that I can use in this space. The room is really coming together and I am very pleased. This gives me continued motivation to continue on the path I'm on as new advantages continue to open up for me at each twist and turn! 

For now I say good night and I am quite sure that I'll have more pictures and updates. I'm feeling creative and inspired so one never knows what can happen!

Cheers! xoxo

Shaklee Independent Distributor

Shaklee Independent Distributor Here is my new site / part time job!! Really excited about this new path on the journey that I'm on! Please take a look and if you have any questions feel free to contact me!!! Thank you all again for all of your support! 

My New business card! 

Weigh in week

My weigh in did not go well this week, however I think I knew it was coming. I gained 1.2 pounds. I realized that my not going to the gym and not skiing and lack of pt visits while still being on the same eating regimen I had been on or if I want to stay on it as it wasn't horribly unhealthy, I really need to kick it up.  I swam today , probably the farthest I've swam in quite a while. I swam 1/4 mile and I'm hoping that I can continue to keep that up and possibly surpass and get myself back to a mile. Lesson learned. Today I swam hard and I'm going to shoot for some swim time tomorrow. Possibly Saturday as well

I have no excuses right now other than enjoying sleep and always wanting to be snuggled under a blanket. But like I said in my previous post I have no excuse. There are men and woman who serve our country and do way more than me on a daily basis so there are no excuses for me. I'm going to lose the weight I need to to feel better about me and be happy. So here I go . . .

Cheers! Xoxo

May the best card win!

With deciding to become an Independant distributor for Shaklee and sell their nature based products I decided that I need a business card. I will be selling some vitamins along with some of the most amazing and non toxic cleaning products I've ever had the opportunity to use.

I am going to put up the pictures of my top contenders and I'm hoping for input from everyone as to the one you like best and why! I thank you in advance!!

Cheers! Xoxo

Inspiration

Way too long in between posts here. I weighed in last Wednesday and lost .5 pounds. Not a lot but still better than gaining.  I haven't been quite as cautious about what I have been eating and I real,y should be especially since I haven't been as diligent about working out either. 

Thursday night I had the opportunity to meet two amazing men. They are both military men who have served our country and actually continue too. They have started their own company called Iron Art and had a contest online where you upload a picture of yourself wearing the Syracuse university Otto tee shirt they designed and they picked their favorites. I discover end Tuesday that I was one of the winners. So Thursday night they hosted a gathering and gave the winners an original framed copy of the original sketches they drew for the shirt while in Afghanistan.   Meeting these men was such a blessing and inspiration for me.  It reminded me how lucky I and the rest of this country really are.  It also really inspired me to look at things in my life differently. I want to really put forth more effort into my weight loss and tracking it, more effort into making this blog work for me,  not using my being lazy as an excuse. There are men who go on 5 day missions and barely sleep and when they aren't on missions still barely sleep because of the conditions in which they live.  Feeling tired and being lazy are no ,longer valid excuses. I want to set a better example for my boys of what hard work really is. 

With this being said I will be posting a picture of my very unflatteringly minorly clothed self as well as my measurements.  I also am going back to school in the fall to get my BA in business.  School this has spurred the idea for me to turn my sun room into a sitting room / library / office. Jim has his space in the basement that I did for him so I'd like my own space I decided. So as I go along there will,l be pictures of me and my sunroom during their transformations.

I've never felt better about the decisions I'm making as I'm continuing on my journey to 30!

Cheers! Xoxo

Ode to Ryan

I was requested by one of my friends and collegues to write a blog about him. While I'm not certain I can write an entrie blog about just him, I decided this is a good opportunity to talk about friendships I've formed that were forged both unexpectedly and purposefully. 

While Ryan was not my first restaurant manager to become my friend, he's definitely one of my most vocal and stubborn. I truly adore him and we've become good friends from where we've started. When I first took over as his restaurant accountant (RA) he gave me a horrible time and made my life hell. Ryan was needed and being Italian very loud and constantly yelling at me for something that he wanted/needed from me that I could never seem to get to him fast enough. I finally let the Italian side in me out one day and yelled back at him for being a brat.  We've been friends ever since. His store was completely remodeled almost two years ago now and when they had their Grand reopening I went. It was about a thirty minute drive and I brought my two boys with me. It was a good time and nice to meet him in person finally as well as some of the others in the store that I had the oppotunity to speak with on a regular basis. 

We joke that we are now one anothers boo's, as we are both in commited relationships and he also doesn't date "white girls" as he puts it. HAHA He sends me pictures of his kids as do I and we check in with one another on how our families are doing and what may or maynot be new in our lives. I am no longer his RA since I've begun working part time, but it doesn't stop him from calling me and asking me too look into things and adjust things for him. I don't mind since he's my friend and it's an opportuniry for us to catch up. 

So as I mentioned Ryan isn't my first RM friend. My very first friend came in the form of Matt from Ohio. He called to tell me that he'd recently won the title of Restaurant Manager of the year and he wanted to thank me for helping him whenever he needed it. He also said that he'd be coming to Syracuse later in the year and we agreed to try and meet up face to face as I'd been talking to him and been his RA for almost a year at that point and we also discovered he and I were the same age.  Matt's very best friend is Molly another RM that I was gradually becoming friends with courtesy of Matt.  Some how a conversation came up that I enjoyed baking and between the three of us decided that we were going to have a bake off. We also decided, as conversations grew more interesting and more often, that Matt and Molly should come visit us for somthing different and fun.  So Matt overnighted me some chocolate chip cookies, which I have to say were quite delicious, and the following weekend they were coming to visit so I'd make them mine when they got here. There isn't a person on the planet who didn't think all three of us were nuts for forging this friendship and that they were driving from Ohio to NY to meet a girl that didn't know other than over the phone. And how crazy was I that I was going to hang out with them and have them come here not knowing what type of people they were other than a couple of RM's I'd talked to on the phone at work and via text.  

They came and it was truly and awesome weekend. We went to Dinosaur BBQ and the next night we went to dinner and Kareokee and it was truly a riot and filled with loads of laughs. I also had another friend who came along that was a co worker of mine at the time, Alicia. 

Alicia and I had such a riot with them we decided that we were going to go out there. So Alicia and I took a Friday afternoon off and drove to Ohio. What a weekend!!! The weekend was a whirlwind, large in part because we actually stayed at Molly's house and we had a DD for the night. We did kareokee again and dinners and canoeing and bonfires. 

My relationships with Matt and Molly have become stronger over time and Molly and I have helped one another get through some difficult times and I can't help but think we were brought into one anothers lives for that purpose. Matt has also been through a lot and I don't know that I was as there for him as I was Molly, but I did make sure he knew I was here if he needed me and that is something that still stands true for them even now. 

When Ryan called me and told me that he'd been online and saw my blog posts I was actually surprised. I was even more suprised when he asked me to write about him. HAHA  He did request that I wrote soley about him and I wasn't sure I could do that, but since he put the idea in my brain I decided this was an excellent opportunity to write about my closest co workers who became freinds and how thankful I am to have them in my life and how much I appreciate their friendships. 

Cheers! XOXO 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

Well I had an entire blog typed up Thursday that I thought I posted and only just realized today that I didn't. Senior moment?? Or is it too soon for that? So I suppose that I have a lot to talk about.

My weigh in on Wednesday went well, I lost a pound which is really amazing since I thought for sure that with being sick I'd be more likely to gain. I am thrilled that with drinking more water and hot tea, I've more or less been able to avoid soda which has proven to be both beneficial and difficult for me. The biggest thing initially was the headache that came with the lack of soda, however black tea seems to have remedied that a touch.  I also discovered that while being sick I drank more white tea, which has the most antioxidants in it, seemed to help me feel better as well. Cooking is something that I also love to do so I've been trying to find some amazingly delicious recipes that are healthy. I was on Google+ and sparkpeople had a recipe that looked yummy that was made with tilapia. I thought I'd give it a shot since we'd just purchased some. It was Parmesan encrusted Tilapia and low fat and was truly delicious. My boys ate all of it and there was not a bite left over. 

(this was actually Jim's plate!)

So I will continue on my weight loss journey and continue to post my losses and gains, hopefully more losses than gains! I also believe that with spring right here, and my PT coming to a close as I'm starting to get better, I can get out more and do more outside and exercise. This too will hopefully help :-) 

I write this on Easter Sunday and what an amazing day it has been for me. I baked homemade blueberry muffins with fresh blueberries and they came out terrific; though the boys were a tad skeptical at first as they are used to the box mix. They enjoyed their muffins and finding their Easter baskets. Not being a typically religious family we went back and forth on the subject of church today. 

I was raised in a very Catholic family and Jim isn't particularly religious, so the issue of us doing anything beyond baptizing the boys hasn't really been big. I fell away from the Catholic church because I don't agree with all of their ideas and ways of thinking. Jim and I have intermittently have attended a non denominational church over the past 4 years and agreed that today we would go and continue to go there as we've decided to make this a part of our lives again. The boys also really enjoyed it there and have asked if they can go back. 

I find it interesting that on the such a religious day we've made this decision but also am very happy with our choice, it was ultimately a family decision and I look forward to sharing the coming Sunday's with my family. 

I don't know that our five year old really understands the full meaning of Easter and GOD and church but he's getting there. Our eight year old definitely does and today had a lot of questions for me and is very interested in going back. He watched the better portion of The Ten Commandments last night and really liked watching it. 

Today was a very enlightening day for me. And it was amazing. 

Cheers!XOXO

Oh How Life Is Full of Changes

Well it's been a bit since I've written, It seems as though there is never a dull moment here and then I got strep?! Felt like a little kid having that and it has honestly been quite awful. Well enough gripping from me. 

Friday night I couldn't help, as I was wondering what to write about, but notice how much my life has changed. My weeks and weekends. 

Nights for me used to be about my job and going out with my friends and making sure I always had the cutest and most in-style clothing. From the age of 15 I had a job and it was working in the coatroom of a local bar/restaurant. Every Thursday through Saturday you were guaranteed to find me in the coatroom at the Scotch-N-Sirloin. As I got older I would occasionally hostess but I loved my little hole in the wall space and got to meet some of the most amazing people that way. But it was also a life style far too advanced for a teenager. All of the other employees were my elder by at least 5 years. I was the baby of the crew, but I was also babied by the crew. They let me get away with a lot and I probably experienced more between the ages of 15-18 than I ever should have, but they were my work family and I knew no different. 

Now I look at my nights and it's about bed time stories and ambiguous questions to delay bed time just a little bit more. It's about singing them the songs they choose, and usually having too look up the words! I know that my clothes aren't the most trendy and in-style fashion and my make up is rarely done if on at all and my hair . . . well lets not even go there. I will say it's one of the things I have every intention of trying to keep trendy and will get the cut and it's great for a week but then I always resort back to a bun or ponytail. But sometimes I look back on that young girl and think wow she had fun and if I could go back to that life would I, but then I think about my boys sleeping upstairs and the man sitting next to me watching TV with me and think about my yoga pants and my hooded sweatshirt and know there is no place I would rather be. 

I also have to note that my Friday nights haven't changed a whole lot. I went from eating on Friday nights with my parents from 6-15, to working there from 15-20 and then back to eating with them  there on Fridays nights again. A tradition that is now shared with my children, who will never be allowed to work there or in any restaurant now that I know what goes on behind the scenes! This is also a late fall, winter and early spring tradition. The minute the snow melts we spend our weekends at my parents house in the Adirondacks. Another tradition that I am so thankful for having experienced and am able to share with my boys. 

So while I sometimes wish that I could go back and be as thin as I was back then, that's about all I wish for. Tomorrow is weigh in day now that I've mentioned my weight. I'm hoping I lose again. I'm not sure though with this random illness thrown in. I didn't eat much and drank a lot of water but hoping that didn't cause some random bloating. I guess we'll find out tomorrow!!! 

Cheers xoxo 

Pulled Pork Recipe

I am posting the pulled pork recipe in case anyone wants it! :)

  I chose to purchase boneless pork chops, they have A LOT less fat but still just enough to create deliciously goodness! 

I live with three growing boys they eat a lot so I used all of the pork chops, with using these you can also control how much actually gets cooked. Any how I layered them in a the crock pot.

I coated them in my honey chipotle run ( i put this on everything!) 

I cover it in BBQ, not a ton though, just enough to coat each chop (i used sweet baby rays brown sugar bbq)then I set it to low for 8 hours.  After the 8 hours are up shred it with forks and serve! 

I may or may not have cheated a little here and used Near East boxed cous cous, but honestly it's so good! 

Cheers!    xoxo

Wednesday Weigh In

As I said I would in my first post, today was my weigh in day for weight watchers. Knowing that I haven't been tracking my food and haven't done much in the realm of exercise other than skiing and physical therapy, I was a little nervous to go weigh in today. As I removed my (3 ounce) bracelet and gigantic wool sweater and braced myself to step on the scale, our WW lady sensed my hesitation and ever so irritably said, "I'm ready when you are." On I stepped and OH MY GOD I lost a pound! Whoa didn't see that coming. I can say to my benefit I've been trying to drink less soda, which I seem to be horribly addicted to, more water and a lot more tea.  I actually generally despise water, I love milk and juice and pepsi max and tea, but water and I have never been friends. I am however trying to find something to make it more palatable to me. Propel seems to satisfy what my body needs in terms of its water supply and I find it mildly satisfying. It must be doing something. I can as of today proudly say that I'm down 10 pounds. I really hope that I can find the motivation to lose the next 20 by my birthday. I feel like I kind of cheated with my first 10 as it was mostly due to skiing a couple of times a week and having PT. I will continue to have PT as my back still has not healed, but with ski season having come to a close I need to find the motivation to do some other type of activity.

Being a member of the Toggenburg Ski Patrol is my winter job, it's volunteer but we have scheduled days to ski and there for it's my job to be there on the days I am signed up for. It forces me to ski which I'm thankful for because it keeps me active. Not that I don't enjoy it too, but I'm not sure I would ski as much if it weren't for this organization.  I got some end of the season spring skiing in this past Sunday with my son, it was really awesome out! :-) 

Well with all that being said if anyone has any suggestions to help get me motivated and keep me motivated I'm open to ideas! I do want to do this I guess I'm just in need of guidance...

I did make a most delicious and lower fat version of BBQ pulled pork and it was delicious! I used boneless pork chops instead of a giganticly fatty pork shoulder and I made roasted garlic and rosemary cous cous.  

If any one has any healthy recipes I'm always looking for delicious yummy healthier options to try! This was actually a very delicious meal and wasn't too many WW points either!

Cheers! xoxo

March Madness

So far I feel as though all of the eclectic turns of events have made this month just that, madness. 

I have experienced sadness, loss, deceit and more than a roller coaster of emotions and the month is only half over! Through every twist and turn and loop-d-loop it has become more apparent how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life. 

Jim is my rock and absolute support. Even if he doesn't always agree with or understand my view, he's there for me. There never seems to be a dull moment in our lives or relationship, and no matter how much he's worked or how stressed/tired he is, he is there for me. I found that to be especially comforting this month. 

I am also fortunate enough to have 3 unbelievably close girl friends, all who I've know for relatively the same amount of time. For different reasons they are all still in my life and were equally important in my life this month, as they are every other month also.  

With March being coming in like a lion, I'm hoping to see if off like a lamb. Wednesday officially starts my weigh in / check in on here and I know that I'm going to need their support and encouragement as I continue forward. 

Losing weight and turning 30 have become more of a big deal to me than maybe they should, but with this has come a new form of enlightenment. I am starting to eat healthier, live healthier and teach my boys about healthy living habits. Not that it matters to them, they are tall and skinny bean poles no matter what they eat! I also want to feel better about  myself. I feel as though in my first 29 years I've been rather abusive to my body and as I grow older I'm learning how important it is to take care of this, as it's the only one I have. 

Step one for me: clearing my head and learning to accept my body for it's flaws and learning to listen to my body and intuitiveness. I've completed one full week of meditation for a 21 day challenge that DeePak Chopra and Oprah teamed up to create.

Step two for me: we went grocery shopping tonight after work and for the first time in over a year we did not buy any soda. (Pepsi Max has become my addiction) It was difficult to leave the store with out it and Jim was also extremely confused as to why I skipped that isle completely. I need caffeine there is no doubt in my mind, since I love tea so much I am going to make the effort to drink much more green/black/chai or any other tea that you all recommend! I will also be incorporating much more water into my diet (one bottle every couple of days really isn't enough). 

Tomorrow will be step three: trying to engage in a regular work out routine as skiing has ended and I need to get in the habit of some kind of work out routine. 

If you have any suggestions for me or words of encouragement or even some helpful tactics I am always willing to try them! 

Cheers! xoxo 

  

Two Faces?

Today I find myself in a sad place. I was unable to even begin to think about creating a blog yesterday. I had to come to the realization that people who we think we know or feel we know aren't always who they appear to be. With almost 30 years and too much "life experience" I like to think I've become a decent judge of character, sadly within the past couple of days I've been proven wrong. A person that I considered a friend and have known since I was 5 years old committed a crime so vile and heinous I don't know that I can repeat it. It would seem to me that only a monster could do what he did, not this quirky boy I knew.

David was born with a deformity of his face that plagued him and caused ruthless and incessant teasing all while growing up. In spite of that he was seemingly happy and loved Star Wars, computers and playing the drums. He was also playing air drums with his pencils, pens or drumsticks as he began to carry  them with him all the time in high-school. He reminded me of someone who would fit in well with the characters from the show Big Bang Theory, for lack of a better comparison. We weren't so close that when we all graduated that we stayed in contact but I would never hesitate to say hello when I saw him.

While going through my divorce I had to move back into my parents house and began visiting the local grocery store down the street from their house and over time learned that he was a manager there. He actually reminded me that I didn't need to feel embarrassed or like my pride was taking a hit when I needed to use WIC to help me provide for my son and I. David was as a whole a nice guy and good friend.

Fast forward to Thursday night and the news reports a woman carjacked, stabbed, and her ten year old was attacked. Friday morning comes around and sadly the woman died at the hospital and it was discovered her daughter was raped. When the name and age of the person who committed this monstrous crime was announced, I thought no way is the same person I know. It MUST be a coincidence. The boys I've known my whole life and reminded me what a good mom/person I am could not have done this . . . I was wrong.

It would appear no matter how well you think you know some one, what they do, how they think, how they feel, how they view the world is so different from that who they portray to the outside world. I spent an entire day in denial. It was almost as if my brain wouldn't let me accept that my friend and this monster were the same person.  This morning I read the same article twice along with an updated one, the picture of the boy described in the news paper article was the description of my friend. My brain finally allowed me to process that this monster and the person who once was my friend were in fact the same person. I cried. I cried like a baby. I cried for that boy who used to be my friend, I cried for the little girl who is now orphaned and no longer innocent.

What kind of psychotic break causes a person to behave in such a manner? How can one person spend so much time pretending to be one persona to the outside world and then secretly be someone so completely different. What must it be like to live two separate lives, to have two faces?

I can't help but begin to reevaluate all of my friendships with people. Those who I don't consider so close they've become my family, but people whom I think of as friends, who say hi in passing. Is that person really who I've always thought they were and thought I knew? It also makes me wonder how much of what they tell me and allow me to know is for a reason, are they hiding something?? I do know that in a 48 hour period I learned things are not always what they seem, neither are people regardless of how well you think you know them.

I suppose this is just another life lesson learned on my way to becoming thirty. With only four months before my birthday, I'm hoping that this is the last of my major life lessons to learn.

On a much much lighter note, tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day and as an Irish girl I'm planning a big day for my family, filled with Guinness Beef Stew, Irish Soda Bread, and Guinness brownies!!! 

Cheers to 30!

Collin, "Mommy who is SU playing against today?" 
Me, "They are playing Pitt"
Collin, "Oh, like Pitt Romney?!"

There is never a dull moment in a house with one mom and two little boys and a dad who may as well be one of the little boys. I wouldn't change it for the world and it's taken me a long time to come to this place. I have never written a blog but as I'm approaching the cusp of 30, escaping my younger years and moving on to becoming an adult, if you dare, looking back I think about how much I've been through, where I am now, and realize how much I have changed. By the time I was 21 I was married with a one month old baby (John), a place I never saw myself being at such a young age. By 22 I was divorced with a one year old and no job and a little unsure of where this next adventure was going to take me. It was a scary and intimidating place. I was lucky enough to have an amazing support system of family and friends who helped me get on my feet. My divorce was nothing less than messy and horrible, but after 8 years it's safe to say that my ex husband and I are friends which makes co parenting that much more tolerable. The next man in my life (Jimmy) not only stepped up as a support system for me but as an amazing step father to my son and when we had a son of our own (Collin) continued to prove how amazing he is.

Don't get my wrong we've had our ups and downs over the past 7 years but we've pulled through everything together and stronger each time.  He has been such an amazing inspiration to me to be a better person. He also pushes me to my limit to make me prove to myself that I'm stronger and smarter then I let my self believe.

I'll be 30 this July and was recently at the Dr.'s and they pointed out that I still have my baby weight and since my boys are (John)8 and (Collin)5, that's something that really needs to be addressed as it would also take pressure off of my knee and back. Jim has been kind enough to take on a second job working for our local YMCA so that they boys can take swim lessons and be involved there and so that I can work out to lose the weight I need.
 
This brings me to the other reason for wanting to start this blog. I'm going to start tracking my weight loss progress on here (good or bad). I imagine that posting my weight tracking on a weekly basis after I weigh in every Wednesday at Weight Watchers will hold me more than accountable to two venues, the group from weight watchers and those who are actually kind enough to read this.

Today is actually my ninth week with weight watchers and currently I'm down 9.7 pounds which I can say I'm quite proud of. Next week I plan to post pictures of myself and my weight loss/gain amount.

This is a new adventure in my life and I'm excited to start it and hope you enjoy coming along with me on this journey that is my life!